Dharma Path

Experiment from Windows 7

2010-07-19T13:52:00.000-04:00

I’m writing this post from within Windows Live Writer on my new installation of Windows 7 Pro.

Really curious to see how well this is gonna’ work…

Update: Nice! It worked flawlessly. No artifacts whatsoever from using the Windows Live Writer client versus the normal Blogger web interface for posting.

You asked if something was wrong...

2010-03-05T15:54:00.003-05:00

I've been living with low level pangs of misery for the past couple of days.

Thoughts of you remain close to the surface of my consciousness. Throughout the day they keep bubbling up... sometimes out of nowhere... reaching the surface of my everyday thought world. The bubbles leave this foam on the surface that I like to shape & mold into pleasing images. Frequently these images create an energizing sensation within my physical body, mostly down in the hara.

The combination of these corporal sensations and mental images create within me such an intense, pleasurable experience I just don't want to let go of. But I know I need to... for not to let go will quickly turn into painful torture knowing we cannot be together.

Tired

2010-02-15T11:16:00.001-05:00

There is a HUGE difference in the experience of being tired the next day because you were up till 4 am watching the ENTIRE Season 5 of NCIS alone...

...versus staying up till 4 am on the phone talking with an engaging, intelligent, warm, fun loving human being. The latter is SO much easier to deal with. It's a more wholesome tired. Tired with a purpose versus tired just for tired sake.

All Things New

2010-02-13T14:18:00.005-05:00

Do you know that feeling you get in your heart when you finally get off the phone with someone you just met one day prior and you realize that your very first conversation with this person lasted ~~nearly 7~~ 9 hours?!

The heart says... "Wow... what just happened?" "I don't know." The head answers. Then in the stillness of the moment as you drift off to sleep, you realize there's this wonderful feeling of warmth & contentment emanating from within.

Ahhhh... New friend... New beginnings... Sweetness!

My Zen Life

2005-09-19T21:03:00.000-04:00

Hey folks, Dharma Path (also known as John’s Dharma Path) will no longer be updated after this post. Don’t worry, I’m not going away!! Just moving to my new blog:

myzenlife.com

If you would, please update your links to me to reflect this change and come on over for a visit to the new site. My “Welcome” post over there explains a little bit about why the change.

This site will remain for as long as BlogSpot let’s me keep it so the content here should be accessible for the foreseeable future.

I’ll “see” you all over at myzenlife.com!!

Wednesday, September 14th 2005

2005-09-14T10:56:00.000-04:00

10:56 Good morning all! How’s life for everyone out there in my blog-o-sphere? Things here are just absolutely NUTS!! I’m expecting another super busy day at work today. I was here last night till 18:30 which makes my arrival back home at around 19:30. That’s over 12 hours spent away from my family. I don’t like to do this too often but it’s just necessary right now. Hopefully things will calm down soon. I’m just grateful today to have such a well paying job doing what I love to do. There are so many out there that are jobless or are stuck in low paying jobs that they hate. Gratitude is my practice today.

Tuesday, September 13th 2005

2005-09-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

16:01 Oh Man, I’m just getting slammed here at the office today. Calgone, take me away!!!

10:03 The Power of Now with Jesus and Buddha

The undercurrent of constant unease started long before the rise of Western industrial civilization, of course, but in Western civilization, which now covers almost the entire globe, including most of the East, it manifests in an unprecedentedly acute form. It was already there at the time of Jesus, and it was there 6oo years before that at the time of Buddha, and long before that. Why are you always anxious? Jesus asked his disciples. "Can anxious thought add a single day to your life?" And the Buddha taught that the root of suffering is to be found in our constant wanting and craving.

~ Eckhart Tolle, from chapter four "What Are They Seeking?”, The Power of NOW.

09:00 Oy. Why in gods name did I stay up to watch the WHOLE game?? And to top it all off, my team didn’t even win. Bummer.

Monday, September 12th 2005

2005-09-12T09:00:00.000-04:00

16:04 FEMA Director is outta’ here!

13:50 I like this quote, a lot:

Meditation is learning how to listen with you own wisdom, so that you can see...
~ Lama Thubten Yeshe

10:56 There’s a zen saying “Tasting the Moment”.  With how fast my everyday life is; moving from crisis to crisis at work, watching the clock to pick up my daughter on time, getting her dinner once home, cleaning up the kitchen afterwards in between monitoring her progress with the bedtime routine.  How am I supposed to ‘taste’ the moment? It just goes by WAY too fast.

09:00 Good morning Dharma Path blog readers.  I can’t believe Monday morning is here already.  Bummer (I think I like this word).  Oh well, back to the grind.

Hey, it looks like I missed posting yesterday.  That could mean only one thing: I spent most of the day away from the computer.  That’s a good thing once and a while.  Especially when the weather was as nice as it was this weekend.

My coffee cup beckons...

EDJ #8

2005-09-10T11:11:00.000-04:00

12:10 Barbara Bush: It's Good Enough for the Poor.  Are you freakin’ kidding me?  So much for compassionate conservatism.

11:11 Well, it turns out my wife is working this weekend.  Bummer.  Even though I like having time with Amy, I really miss the time as a whole family on the weekends.

Nothing much exciting going on today. The weather is gorgeous today.  I think Amy and I will just hang out outside and enjoy our time together.

EDJ #7

2005-09-09T09:11:00.000-04:00

09:11 Good morning folks. I slowed down a bit this morning and it felt good. Usually on the days that my wife drops Amy off and I’m heading into the office, I like to get right out the door and pick up coffee on the way. Today I decided to make coffee and breakfast at home before I left. This provided many benefits. The obvious one is it saves money (which is a good thing with gas prices as they are). But the biggest benefit was being able to spend time with Amy helping her get breakfast and sitting down at the kitchen table with her. Right before my eyes she is growing up. She’s in first grade and loves it. It’s such a joy to see how excited she is about learning all these new things. I love talking with her about everything she’s doing in school as well as what’s going on in the world. Her prayers last night just brought tears to my eyes when she prayed for the families and animals effected by the ‘big hurricane’. She also prayed that our city be spared a visit of a hurricane like that in the future. Kids prayers are the best.

EDJ #6

2005-09-08T07:38:00.000-04:00

19:04 Still working.  A big problem was found in the next version of the foundational software that our system runs on.  It’s looking like I’m going to have to do a bunch of recoding.  This is not good news as all testing was to be completed by next Wednesday.  I’m afraid this looks like I’ll be working some over the weekend.  My wife and daughter won’t like this one bit.  I don’t blame them.  It’s my wife’s weekend off (she works every other weekend), and we like spending the time together.  I’m sure I can strike up a balance somehow.  Maybe do most of my work at night.  Of course that nixes any possibility of any nocturnal activities.

15:04 A college radio station in Canada interviewed Soto Zen priest (and former punk rocker) Brad Warner.  It’s a good interview.  Stay with the audio even when that weird sounding guy comes on.  I almost turned it off when he came on but I’m glad I didn’t.  No fluffy Zen here, just real, pure life Zen.

Go to this webpage...
   http://thebeeroclock.com/bradwarner.asp

...and then click on PLAY INTERVIEW: (Real Audio)

07:37 Good morning all!  I hope this bright new day finds you all well.  Today is going to be a nice relaxing work at home day.  The thing I like best about a work at home day is that I don’t have to spend 2+ hours in the car.  I do however need to be a little bit more on top of myself as far as discipline to the tasks at hand are concerned. Sometimes it’s just too easy to get distracted when at home.  How do you folks do it?  Any advice out there?

EDJ #5

2005-09-07T07:55:00.000-04:00

10:58 Cairn:

(o)
(o)(o)
(o)(o)(o)(o)
(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)

09:39 Today is looking like a busy day here at work. Daily Journal posting will be light.

07:55 This mornings chanting practice:

The Four Vows

Beings are numberless; I vow to free them.

Delusions are inexhaustible; I vow to end them.

Dharma gates are boundless; I vow to enter them.

The buddha way is unsurpassable; I vow to realize it.

EJD #4

2005-09-06T08:45:00.000-04:00

16:04 Those who are upright and honorable just do what needs to be done.  Thank you to everyone tending to LIFE on the gulf coast.  You are true heroes.

The labour of the righteous tendeth to life.
~ Proverbs 10:16

15:57 There are a lot of really good spiritual presentations here.  What I like most is how ecumenical the author is.  Some of my favorites are: mindfulness, shikantaza, prayer, and a touch of zen.

13:29 How appropriate that I just came across this quote from a mailing list I’m on.  It sums it up pretty well for me right now.

"Sit with your doubts and with your feeling of being un-Enlightened for a while, though, and you'll discover something amazing about what all that doubt and un-Enlightenment really is".
~ Unknown

13:27 I just realized the title of this post is a bit jumbled. It should be ‘EDJ’ (Experimental Daily Journal).  Oh well, no matter.

I’ve got some fear surrounding the fact that I’ll be doing a full weekend Sesshin beginning this Friday night.  My sitting practice has just about been non-existent.  My mind wants me to believe that I won’t be able to handle the many 40 minute sitting periods the weekend will offer.  This is not true of course.  I will be able to “handle” them, and more.  Meeting the present moment is never hard to do.  What makes it “hard” is the fear, uncertainty and doubt that my egoic mind just LOVES to manufacture.  Relax and witness.  That’s all I have to do this weekend. Relax and witness the present moment as it is.

09:22 My practice lately has consisted more of a “doing practice” than of a “sitting practice”.  I’m actually getting to be comfortable with this.  I still feel small pangs of guilt when, lying there in bed at the end of the day, I realize I didn’t sit.  But when I can look back on the activities of that day that I brought a deep mindfulness to, the guilt just seems to dissipate.

In almost everything I do during the day I’m trying to bring as much mindfulness and attention that my mind and body can muster.  I’m far from perfect in this, but just the intention to notice my wandering attention and bring it back to the task at hand is enough for me today.  Acceptance is also an integral part of my training these days.

08:45 The drive in to work this morning was especially frustrating.  For some reason every jerk and idiot decided to either tailgate me from behind or cut me off from in front.  I used it as an opportunity to work with the anger that immediately welled up inside me whenever an incident occurred. I did a LOT of conscious breathing and bringing myself back to the present moment to get through it.

EDJ #3

2005-09-05T08:51:00.000-04:00

17:44 I’m feeling better after getting out of the house and doing some yard work.  It’s been a nice day off with my daughter Amy.  We played a few games together and even took a nap together (heavenly!!).  My wife is working a double today (16 hours) and won’t be home till midnight.  I don’t know what in the world possessed her to work those extra hours!!  Wait, yea I do, she’s really freaking out about money with the way energy costs are soaring.  I can totally understand that.  I’m a bit scared about the economy too.  Now’s the time to cut back a little me thinks.

12:08 I didn’t know about this until today, but I am SO EXCITED about seeing this movie in December: The Chronicles of Narnia; The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.  The movie site.  A site commissioned by the CS Lewis Trust.

08:51 I’m feeling a bit on edge this morning. At first I didn’t know why.  Now I’m thinking that it’s the news that I was watching earlier this morning. Yes, I want to know how things are going with the relief and rescue efforts, but hearing about the shootings of levy contract workers and police officers committing suicide is effecting me in a less than wholesome way.  I think I need to monitor my news consumption today, ingesting more wholesome material for now.

Experimental Daily Journal Entry #2

2005-09-04T09:06:00.000-04:00

10:01 Heading off to morning services with the family in a few minutes.  Coming together as a community in times like these really helps support my journey on the path.  Community is such a powerful thing, I hope you have a community to participate in and belong to.

09:56 Nola.com, the site run by the Times-Picayune, has messages about hundreds of people still trapped and dying in New Orleans.  Let’s get these people out of there for God’s sake!!!

09:06 Good morning!  It a bright, crisp, gorgeous day here in lower Bucks county Pennsylvania.  Just beautiful!!  I’m enjoying a nice hot cup of java outside on the porch.  I seem to enjoy my cups of coffee much more in the cool, crisp morning air.  I feel so grateful to be alive and well today.

Experimental Daily Journal Entry #1

2005-09-03T08:44:00.000-04:00

20:07 Got a good, hard 45 minutes in on the bike this afternoon.  Man it felt great to exert myself like that.  I’m finding that getting fitter really boots your self esteem quite a bit, and that feels great!  Goodnight all, hope you had a good day.

13:16 The end of oil.  I like the piece that Fred put up about the peaking of world oil production in the near future.  We really need to elect members of congress and eventually a new president that will address this issue head on.  If we don’t, things are going to get a lot worse than they are right now.

11:35 What this woman did with her already existing website really has to be commended.  Thanks Katrina Blankenship!

11:19 The economic impact of Katrina.  This is what I was (and still am) afraid of.

11:12 Back from weigh-in this morning and much to my utter surprise I lost 3 pounds this week.  I don’t know how (I didn’t ride the bike at all this week), but I’ll take it for sure!

09:06 Today is looking to be chore day.  Laundry, yard work, grocery shopping.  I’m kinda looking forward to it.  A break from sitting in front of the computer all week flexing my head muscle is welcomed.  It feels good in the body to physically exert yourself.

08:48 This morning’s chanting practice:

The Three Refuges
(Sankiraimon)

I take refuge in Buddha
May all beings
Embody the Great Way
Resolving to Awaken

I take refuge in Dharma
May all beings
Deeply enter the Sutras
Wisdom like an Ocean

I take refuge in Sangha
May all beings
Support Harmony in the Community
Free from Hindrance

08:42 Trying something new.  I’m going to have just one entry per day but keep adding to it bottom to top when ever the urge hits throughout the day.

I got the idea from my other blog that I have here. This is my OPML blog and this format is produced by default when using the OPML Editor to update the blog (which is the ONLY way to update the blog as far as I know).  The format has grown on me and I wanted to try it out here.  I don’t know if it will really work here at Dharma Path but I want to give it a try anyway.  Let me know what you think.

Helping Katrina victims

2005-09-02T09:57:00.000-04:00

I wish I could go down to the Gulf Coast to help out but I can’t. I did the next best thing and donated as much as I could to the American Red Cross National Disaster Relief fund. It makes me feel even better to know that my company will 100% match my donation of a hundred dollars. Even with the match it seems like such a small drop in the bucket but I can only do what I can.

Please consider giving what you can to help our fellow Americans in this dire time of need. May their suffering be relieved very soon!

Buddha's Guidance

2005-08-30T08:51:00.000-04:00

There will come a day when I won’t need words to serve as reminders to the inner wisdom buried far below, but for now they help:

Knowing that sentient beings
All have a thousand desires
Gripping the depths of their minds,
The Buddha teaches them
In accordance with their characters
And conditions.
With stories, words, and skillful means
He teaches them the truth.
~ Lotus Sutra

Lost

2005-08-29T12:41:00.000-04:00

Feeling quite apathetic at the moment.  Apathetic:  indifferent, uninterested, listless, droopy, unconcerned, lethargic, lazy.

Yep, that’s what it is alright.  I’m having a difficult time just slogging through my duties here at work.  I didn’t think the events from last week would affect me like this.  After all, I’m a guy right?  It didn’t happen to me, it happened to my wife. I know, I know; it did happen to me too, but I just didn’t think the effects would last this long.  I figured it would happen, greave the loss and move on.  Surprise, surprise, things never seem to work out as you think they should do they?

For now, my practice is to try and just feel what I feel and not try to escape the feelings by going to food for comfort.  I fear, that’ll be a tough task today.

blog day 2005

2005-08-28T08:22:00.000-04:00

hey this does sound neat! international blog day 2005 is this wednesday, august 31st. on wednesday post to your blog a recommendation to 5 new blogs. spread the word about blogday2005 and have fun blog-hopping on wednesday!!

[found at a mindful life]

Drowning in the RSS stream

2005-08-27T15:57:00.000-04:00

We are in charge of what we allow to become inputs into our lives.  The idea of a newsreader or aggregator seemed like I good one at the time, but since using it for a week, I’ve found that I’ve subscribed to over 40 RSS feeds ranging from Reuters and AP news feeds to the many blogs that talk to my heart in an online community I sorta belong to.  I just can’t keep up with all the new items being flung at me day in and day out.

I think escape was part of the motive behind downloading and playing with the aggregator tool.  It turned into a pretty mind-numbing exercise to just browse through feed after feed, post after post.  Sorta a different version of channel surfing I suppose.  Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that it isn’t all that spiritually healthy for me to be mindlessly absorbing the information stream for hours on end with no real interaction with the creators of the content (this is especially true of the blogs in my blog-o-sphere).  I’m missing the human interaction.  But then again, I really haven’t felt that much like interacting lately.

Has this ever happened to others out there?  What are your experiences?

The other shore

2005-08-26T21:05:00.000-04:00

P8090057
Originally uploaded by jhsoper.

Just wanted to share a photo from our time in the Finger Lakes this summer. Also playing with posting a photo from within flickr. If you click on the photo it'll take you to my flickr site where you can see other photos of the vacation.

Thanks

2005-08-26T16:44:00.000-04:00

Thank you to everyone in my blog-o-sphere who has offered their sympathies, prayers, thoughts and well wishes.  I really appreciate it.  My wife and I are still going through the process of dealing with the loss.  It hits me at odd times during my day; and with today being my first day back in the office, I feel inclined to just pretty much keep to myself.

I’m going to try and make the time to sit on my zafu in the next few days to try and let these emotions and feelings just settle where they may.  That’s about all I can think of to do to take care of myself.

Thanks again for all your support.  I’m truly amazed at the generosity of folks I haven’t even met.  Peace to you all.

Life

2005-08-24T15:00:00.000-04:00

A life is started,
then 8 weeks later
it's ended.
Just like that.
Why?
Who knows.
All I know is...
this just fucking sucks!

Sitting

2005-08-23T09:20:00.000-04:00

Sat zazen last night for the first time in a LONG while. I could tell it has been a while. My mind would just not settle down. I didn’t even have the patience to count my exhalations. This tells me I’ve been away from it for too long. I need to make a better effort to get to the zafu EVERYDAY, even if it’s only for 15 minutes. I could barely get through that last night. It’s funny, there’s very little negative self talk this time. It’s nice. The facts are the facts, I haven’t been sitting on a regular basis and when I do sit down and begin to quite my body-mind, there will be resistance. That’s it. No, "should haves" or "could haves", it is what it is.

You know, feeling this way is beginning to feel more natural. What I mean is, it used to feel "natural" to have all that negative self talk and self-flagellation over not meditating regularly, now it doesn’t. I like this way of living much better :-).

Being in the stream

2005-08-22T17:00:00.000-04:00

Meditation is not just a rest or retreat from the turmoil of the stream or the impurity of the world. It is a way of being the stream, so that one can be at home both in the white water and in the eddies. Meditation may take one out of the world, but it also puts one totally in it...

~ Gary Snyder

Bye bye Avatar

2005-08-22T13:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, I've decided that I didn't like the whole avatar concept. I'm going back to my real photo. Felt like I was hiding something. I live my life as openly and honestly as I can. I want that reflected here as well.

The Three Refuges

2005-08-15T12:50:00.000-04:00

Whew! I've been back in the office for only 5 hours (after being on vacation for the past 9 days here) and my head is spinning like crazy!! So I thought I'd take a quick break and put up a post here at Dharma Path.

I've recently committed myself to learning the six basic chants that we use at MEZ and thought I'd share with you the first:

The Three Refuges

I take refuge in Buddha.
May all beings
embody the great way
resolving to awaken.

I take refuge in Dharma.
May all beings
deeply enter the sutras
wisdom like an ocean.

I take refuge in Sangha.
May all beings
support harmony in the community,
free from all hindrance.

Another Side of Me

2005-08-02T09:30:00.000-04:00

Thought I'd share this OTHER major side to me as a person by letting you in on my other blog: John Soper's OPML Blog. My wife affectionately calls me her "little computer geek"! Can you see why? :-)

What is this true meditation?

2005-08-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

It is to make everything: coughing, swallowing, waving the arms, motion, stillness, words, actions, the evil and the good, prosperity and shame, gain and loss into one single koan . . . with the principle of pure, undiluted, undistracted meditation before your eyes, attain a state of mind in which, even though surrounded by crowds of people, it is as if you were alone in a field extending tens of thousands of miles . . . if at this time you struggle forward without losing any ground, it will be as though a sheet of ice has cracked, as though a tower of jade has fallen, and you will experience a great feeling of joy.

~ Hakuin

Oh My!

2005-07-18T14:10:00.000-04:00

My posting here at Dharma Path has really dropped off as of late hasn't it? Mostly due to things at work just ramping up exponentially in the past month or so.

Sorry for not getting back to everyone who has commented here. Please do keep commenting, I love reading your input. When things settle down a bit I really want to open things back up to a two-way (instead of a one-way) conversation. I miss connecting with you all.

Here's something I wish I had a little more of lately:

Wind stirs the bamboo,
But once the wind passes,
The bamboo is silent.
Geese land in a chill pond,
But once the geese fly away,
There are no reflections.
In the same way,
Once the red dust passes,
The mind is still.

The affairs of the world are often euphemistically referred to as red dust. This is the involvement of the world that is hard to brush away and yet equally hard to hold on to. We may seek meditative detachment, but as long as the stimulation of the world continue to blow through our minds, the true stillness of meditation is impossible.

If we do not involve ourselves with the difficulties of the world, there will naturally not be any suggestion or stimulation present. Then the mind will be still. The still mind is capable of the most supreme states of existence.

Obviously, total withdrawal from the tribulations, dangers, sensual temptations, and entanglements of everyday life would be one way of doing this. If you feel ready to do this and you have that option, they you should do so. You will find satisfaction and happiness very quickly. But if you are obligated to remain in the world for some time more, and still want to practice the art of tranquillity, you must execute withdrawal on a more microscopic scale. Then stillness is possible for at least short periods.

Stillness
365 Tao
Deng Ming-Dao
Daily Meditations

Sharing

2005-07-11T11:05:00.000-04:00

Just wanted share three things with the readers of my blog. First, I wanted to make public my list of Buddhist bookmarks that I have put together at delicious (see mini-browser window below).

Now, what's cool about the list below is that it's being displayed in a mini-browser within a browser. It's called Bitty Browser. Click on the "About Bitty Browser" link in the Bitty window. That's the second thing I wanted to share, it's a technology that's just too cool to keep to myself!!

The third and last thing I wanted to share was del.icio.us. delicious is yet another web based bookmark manager. It's just so no frills that I love it!! Check it out if you're interested in this sort of thing. I dumped all my other web based bookmark managers for this one. The really cool thing is that as I add more links to the list they just show up here automagically (on top)!! It's just WAY COOL (IMHO)!!

John's Buddhism Links

Open "John's Buddhism Links" in a new window

About Bitty Browser

About Turnstyle

dying

2005-07-01T08:25:00.000-04:00

i sit here
breathing
as you lay there
dying
you breathe too
we breathe together

today is your last day
on this earth
you die
with such dignity
such strength
i'm impressed

but also, i'm scared
i'm afraid of my own death

but being here
now
with you
in your hour
helps

thank you dear friend
thank you

Silly Poem

2005-06-24T10:30:00.000-04:00

4 A Future
2 B Possible
1 C Clearly

Popped into my heard while reading this book.

This is really just a placeholder post to let you all know I'm still alive. I've been SO swamped at work this week that I haven't even had a chance to stop and think about what to post. Hopefully things will quiet down soon. So it goes...

avatar

2005-06-16T15:45:00.000-04:00

so, i've been trying to figure out for the longest time what to use for my online avatar image. i think i've found it. what do you think?

anyone know who this is? -------------------------------------------------->

first to correctly guess wins a new copy of this book (if you want it).

positively!

2005-06-15T12:05:00.000-04:00

got the cool format from Nicole @ indigosoul and the idea from participation positives. cultivating gratitude for what we are given everyday is very much part of my zen practice. so I thought I'd do my own version as part of my practice today:

+ a wonderful wife + a wonderful 6 year old daughter + a good job that pays very well + air conditioning in the car! + good health + trying to get my wife pregnant ;-) + root beer water ice + warm sunny days + snuggling with our lahsa + scalp massages +

My Practice Today

2005-06-15T09:20:00.000-04:00

This just hit me out of the blue this morning: I don't want enlightenment. I just want a life that works to the benefit of all sentient beings and a death without fear.

Hope I'm not being too Greedy. :-)

cricket said

2005-06-10T13:40:00.000-04:00

chirp!
chirp! chirp!
i'm the first!
the first!

Doing vs. Achieving

2005-06-08T10:35:00.000-04:00

Every night as I wash the dishes at the kitchen sink, I try my best to practice this. Some nights I'm better at it than others. And you know, it's true, when I can keep my attention on the doing rather than the 'getting it done and out of the way', I feel much more satisfied and content.

When you give more attention to the doing then to the future result that you want to achieve through it. You break the old egoic conditioning. Your doing then becomes not only a great deal more effective, but infinitely more fulfilling and joyful.
~ Eckhart Tolle

Just Sitting

2005-06-07T13:40:00.000-04:00

Zazen takes place when you stop elbowing the others to get ahead.
~ Kodo Sawaki Roshi

Indeed! When I sit with a group it is so hard for me to not measure my practice against another's practice. Just being with my practice as it is, this is my intention today.

Some words about the actual practice of shikantaza - just sitting: When we sit in zazen, it is not that there are no thoughts at all appearing in our heads. Actually, a lot of thoughts appear. But if you start to chase those thoughts, then that can't be called zazen anymore. You are just thinking in the sitting posture. It is important for you to realize then that, "I am doing zazen right now, this is not the time for chasing thoughts!" Return to the correct posture, and open the hand of thought again. This is what is called "waking up from distraction and confusion".

Next we might become tired. Now it is time to remind ourselves, "I am doing zazen right now, this is not the time to sleep!" Let's then return to the correct posture, and wake up to zazen. This is what is called "waking up from dullness and fatigue".

Zazen means to wake up from distraction and confusion, dullness and fatigue for a billion times, and return to the wide awake posture of zazen. "Living the raw and fresh life called zazen" means to arouse the mind for a billion times in this fashion, practice and realize it for a billion times: This is what is called shikantaza - just sitting.
~ Kosho Uchiyama Roshi (disciple of Kodo Sawaki Roshi)

These words by Uchiyama Roshi are just what I needed to hear. This has been my experience with zazen lately (distraction and confusion, dullness and fatigue) and it's comforting to know that it is completely normal.

Wisdom from a busy weekend

2005-06-06T09:50:00.000-04:00

We just do
What is next to do
Nothing special
Just keeping
This practice forever

Our Practice

2005-06-01T13:25:00.000-04:00

What’s the point of sitting still?

Well, certainly we all have different answers to such a broad question. I know that when I sit still long enough, eventually I become still. Then I can experience the miracle of my life in a new light. The difference is often so subtle I can barely notice myself becoming softer, more fluid, at ease. Then, without warning, I notice it. I have changed, for the better, and it is not subtle. We all share at least one thing-this life. Sitting still is such a powerful way to slow down enough to really appreciate this amazing opportunity we all share. Please, consider treating yourself to the most precious gift you have- your true-self. I encourage you to make an extra effort in sitting still long enough for your life to find you. There is nothing to lose and nothing to gain, just be here, now.
~ Herb Eko Deer, www.swzc.org

Sitting on a zafu facing a blank wall in a formal zazen posture for a period of time at least once a day is the foundation of our practice. From there our practice extends out to include all the other activities of our day. This I know to be true deep down in my heart of hearts.

My challenge lately has been to practice with the guilt and shame that come up when I realize that I haven’t sat a zazen period for several days in a row. I don’t feel good about this fact. But this feeling is extra. Not that I shouldn’t be feeling this way, it’s not that at all. It’s just that the feeling is coming up because I am not accepting the fact of what my life situation is today. Accepting our life for what it is without anything extra added (this is good, this is bad) is also our practice.

Commuter Verse

2005-05-27T09:28:00.000-04:00

E=mc²
Ducks should all be in a row
Life isn't like that though
Not Always So

sickness

2005-05-25T10:48:00.000-04:00

pounding in my head
muted hearing
unbelievable pressure
behind my eyes
the pain when i swallow

how to practice with this?
you just do
as best you can, you just do

Soon Zafu. Soon.

2005-05-18T09:32:00.000-04:00

The blogging pressure bogging me down.
No time to think.
No time to post.
Just Practicing the best I can,
Day in and Day out.
Practicing with the dishes.
Practicing with the broom.
Practicing with the commute.
Remembering to Breathe when I can.
I feel sad for my poor lonely Zafu,
Just sitting there so patiently.
I be there soon my friend. Soon.

I Feel Ripe

2005-05-13T22:45:00.000-04:00

UPDATED!

"The meaning does not lie in words, yet those who are ripe must be taught."
~ The Song of the Precious Mirror Samadhi

I believe I am ripe for the picking. It just might be time to put down the books for a while to step more fully into a student teacher experience. I want to take the 5 precepts of a lay buddhist now more than ever. And with following Andi of Ditch the Raft taking an even more catholic approach to the buddhist precepts, I feel inspired even more.

After her mountain seat ceremony on the 22nd of this month, I want to engage my teacher at Mt. Equity Zendo in earnest. I don't want to let this gut feeling come and go without seeing if I really have what it would take to take this formal step towards a life I know will bring me more contentment and peace.

I feel as though I'm back in elementary school jumping up and down in my seat with my hand in the air saying to my teacher; "Ooooo, ooooo, pick me, pick me! I'm ready now!!!"

Gassho _/\_

Hubba hubba!

2005-05-08T15:41:00.000-04:00

My response to this post of Lorianne's:

grrooooowl

Ryokan's Precepts of Right Speech

2005-05-04T10:35:00.000-04:00

These are some guidelines the Monk Ryokan wrote down for himself:

Ryokan's Precepts of Right Speech

Take care not to:

talk too much
talk too fast
talk without being asked to
talk gratuitously
talk with your hands
talk about worldly affairs
talk back rudely
argue
smile condescendingly at others' words
use elegant expressions
boast
avoid speaking directly
speak with a knowing air
jump from topic to topic
use fancy words
speak of past events that cannot be changed
speak like a pedant
avoid direct questions
speak ill of others
speak grandly of enlightenment
carry on while drunk
speak in an obnoxious manner
yell at children
make up fantastic stories
speak while angry
name-drop
ignore the people to whom you are speaking
speak sanctimoniously of gods and buddhas
use sugary speech
use flattering speech
speak of things of which you have no knowledge
monopolize conversations
talk about others behind their backs
speak with conceit
bad-mouth others
chant prayers ostentatiously
complain about the amount of alms
give long-winded sermons
speak affectedly like a tea master
~ Ryokan (1758-1831)

Ryoken here says 'take care not to...' he doesn't say 'do not...'. I would look on these as a guide markers, kinda' like the north star. Don't look on them as the destination to arrive at / achieve, but as the general direction you want to be heading in. That's how I am going to approach it for myself. Any one else have a different take?

Growing

2005-04-29T10:12:00.000-04:00

Sitting quietly,
doing nothing,
spring comes,
and the grass grows by itself.
~ Zenrin Kushû (The Way of Zen 134, 222)

My Practice

2005-04-22T16:19:00.000-04:00

Recently I had a dialog with a practitioner friend about whether I was Zen "through & through" and why it's sometimes difficult for us Westerners to develop a consistent sitting discipline.

I wanted to share my response just so folks get a better idea of where I'm at right now in my Buddhist practice.

...for right now, I feel most "at home" when practicing Soto Zen. However, I also feel "at home" to a great degree with TNH's practices as well. Luckily, my teacher teaches both. For now I'm sticking with these two Zen traditions. This may change in the future, but for right now I'm not actively looking to other traditions for my Buddhist practice. So, the short answer to you’re question is yes, I consider my self Zen through and through.

To the question of why developing a sitting discipline is so hard. For me, I would have to say that it's because my mind and body has gotten so used to constant external stimulation (food, music, books, internet, sports, etc.) that it finds the quite, motionless experience of zazen to be very uncomfortable. But then again, there is sort of a paradox that exists for me because I actually feel "right with the universe" (so to speak) when I sit zazen. We just need to remember to be patient with ourselves and keep at it as best we can given our life's circumstances. These habits we've formed over the years can be quite hard to work with can't they?

Inari-Sushi

2005-04-20T13:10:00.000-04:00

Who likes Inari-Sushi? Raise your hands!

I’ll tell you what, I DO!!

I just had my very first Inari and it was DE-LISH!! They were perfect with California Rolls for a nice light lunch.

Anyone else out there like this stuff too?

Wild Mind

2005-04-18T09:50:00.000-04:00

Sat Zazen last night for about 20 minutes. My judging mind wants to say it was not such a good sitting. But in essence there are no good or bad sittings, or so I’ve been taught.

My delusory mind sure wants to see it that way at the moment. The mind chatter, day dreaming and sleepiness were to say the least, quite challenging. All I could really do was bring my self back to the breath. I even tried breath counting and noticed my mind starting to make up day dreams based on what number I was on. I tried my best to just be with the mind state the way it was, but for the first time in a long while I found that my patience just wasn’t there. I ended up cutting the sitting short by 10 minutes. Again the judgment came in about that and I really tried to just be with it rather than feeding the guilt and disappointment I felt.

You know, recounting the experience a day later I’m getting the impression that the sitting was actually a very good one in that I had a lot to work with and had good practice at consistently bringing myself back to the present moment. This realization helps with the resistance to sitting that I’ve been dealing with lately. Not attaching a negative judgment to my sitting helps me want to sit again tonight. Believe it or not I’m less afraid of being alone, one on one with my wild mind now.

Angels

2005-04-10T14:15:00.000-04:00

So, I thought I’d give this digital photo thing a try. I took these this weekend in our back yard. Just goofing around trying to get the hang of it.

This one is nice:

But this one is my favorite:

I think these came out pretty well, don't you?

Service

2005-04-08T12:02:00.000-04:00

This may seem like a silly question coming from an educated person in today’s information age, but I want to assume nothing.

What activities do you partake in (or would like to partake in) that help you lead a life of service to your fellow human beings?

I need your feedback on this. I need your ideas. I feel on the verge of something in my life and need ideas on what I could be doing to be of service towards my fellow human beings. I want to hear about anything and everything. From volunteering at my local homeless shelter to starting a new career heading the agency that will end world hunger.

Can you help? If so, please leave a comment on this post or email me here.

Thank you very much.

Hoping to make you smile

2005-04-06T10:58:00.000-04:00

In the spirit of trying to be less serious and learning to lighten up a bit, I just had to share this with you all. You might have seen this before but read it again, I find that I always get something additional out of re-reading something I’ve seen before.

Enjoy and I hope it will bring at least a smile to your face today.

I OWE MY MOTHER!!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Art of Zazen

2005-04-05T14:48:00.000-04:00

Came across this wonderful article a while ago and just wanted to pass it on to others in hopes that it would help in their practice as well.

Art of Zazen
by Dainin Katagiri roshi

Skype II

2005-04-03T18:36:00.000-04:00

Oh man, you've gotta install Skype!! It's totally awesome! Easy to use, great sound quality, and best of all FREE! Free internet Telephony!!

Install it and ring me up sometime. You don't want to miss this wave folks!!!

Skype

2005-04-01T14:56:00.000-05:00

Is there anyone in my blog universe that is on Skype? If you are, email me your Skype name I'd love to chat. I'd be glad to email my Skype name, just drop me a line.

I just installed this VoIP software and Skype users can talk to each other for free. The sound quality is awsome! Let's give it a try.

Why? Wi-Fi!

2005-03-30T21:23:00.000-05:00

Well, as you can see, I’m getting back into this blogging thing rather slowly. Please forgive me if I haven’t responded to everyone’s comments since breaking my silence. I promise I’ll get to your blogs soon to check out what you have all been up to.

One of my primary reason’s for coming back to blogging is the purchase of a laptop and wireless router. Now that I can have the laptop with me anywhere in the house, I don’t feel so confined to just the office upstairs. This helps on the days and weekends that my wife is working a 12 hour shift at the hospital and Amy and I are home together for the day. I can hop on and off the laptop much easier when I can have it downstairs in the midst of the action that Amy might happen to be involved in at the time. I feel a lot less guilty about doing some on-line stuff when I can be right there with Amy rather than holing myself up in the office for hours while Amy is downstairs doing her thing. Wi-Fi is a beautiful thing!

I am very grateful to have the resources to afford these new hi-tech indulgences like the laptop, Wi-Fi and iPod. They are nice, but in need to also remember to keep it all in perspective and not let things get too out of hand. There is a part of me inside that feels I'm being hypocritical when I indulge myself like this while at the same time purporting to be following the way of Dharma. But you know, I'm not a monk (not yet anyway) and I don't have to live the austere life to live according to the Dharma. There may come a time in my life where stripping away these indulgences for the sake of spiritual advancement might make sense, but for now I'm enjoying my new toys and the opportunities they have opened back up for me to encounter the Dharma in my everyday life.

The Art of Happiness

2005-03-29T12:53:00.000-05:00

Don't know if you've seen this site yet, The Art of Happiness (based on the book by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama and Dr. Howard Cutler).

Just wanted to pass it along just in case you haven't seen it. It's kinda commercialized but there were a few good take aways for me. Enjoy!

iPod

2005-03-24T20:14:00.000-05:00

Ok, I just have to share this. You see, I spend from two to two and a half hours in the car everyday on my commute to and from work and I’ve been trying to make good use of that time by listening to wholesome audio programs and music. Well, the CD’s and tapes having been piling up in the past 5 years since I started this job and have my car all cluttered up. To remedy this situation, I’ve had my eye on an iPod for a while now. Well, the wait is over! My wife got me a 20Gb 4G iPod for my birthday back in February and I’ve been obsessed every since!!

Since getting the iPod and ripping all my CD’s and audio books, I’ve discovered another medium to add to the content of my iPod -- Podcasts. I’ve even found a couple of Dharma Podcasts to listen to on my commute: InfiniteSmile and LamRim Radio. Check them out when you get a chance, and you don’t even need and iPod to do so, you can just listen right on your Apple or PC using your favorite MP3 player software.

It is pretty cool however to have these programs automatically downloaded and added to the iPod on a regular schedule. Check out iPodder.org and PodcastBunker.com for more info on this cool new phenomenon sweeping the ‘net.

Silence No More

2005-03-23T07:51:00.000-05:00

Here is something I'd like to share as I practice not attaching to silence anymore.

To give is non-attachment, that is, just not to attach to anything is to give.

~ Shunryu Suzuki roshi

Taking a Break

2004-10-14T11:45:00.000-04:00

I will be going off-line for a month starting tomorrow. Just feeling really overwhelmed and burned out with blogging and the whole internet on-line experience in general. I need to reduce my sensory input and start making more time to just sit and be with myself.

I should be back around Nov 15th or so.

To all my readers, Peace and Happiness to you and your loved ones.

Be Well.

Lessons Relearned

2004-10-13T09:25:00.000-04:00

The most important lesson I learned (or more accuratly, re-learned) this past weekend while practicing zazen at Mt. Equity Zendo was coming back to the breath, beginning again, with gentleness and compassion for myself. I am my harshest critic and if I got distracted from following my breath, it was my own fault. I was just not good enough to have the concentration necessary to stay with the breath. But this is just a lie I keep replaying over and over in my mind. Everyone's mind wanders at some point during meditation, if it didn't we would have to practice sitting meditation would we? We'd already have laser-like concentration. I'm finally realizing that the practice isn't about always staying with the breath, it's about noticing when my mind wanders in it's habitual way and bringing it back with great care and compassion.

Hokku

2004-10-07T13:15:00.000-04:00

Inspired by this article at PaperFrog.com, I wrote this hokku while hiking in Tyler State Park yesterday with my wife.

standing in the creek
a heron sees it's reflection
bright autumn afternoon

~ J.H. Soper

I think I could get into this poetry form.

P.S. If you can, come on over to the Tyler State Craft Fair this weekend (Oct 8, 9, 10), it's a wonderfull display of hand-crafted wares. I've been every year for the past 8 years and always love it!!

Children

2004-10-04T17:35:00.000-04:00

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Listen to the Breath

2004-10-01T11:15:00.000-04:00

Here's a excerpt from the Breath Sweeps Mind audio program I still listen to every once in a while. I found this teaching on breathing very helpful when practicing zazen and thought others might benefit as well.

So, we are breathing through the mudra. The mudra is your primordial nose and your nose is your second nose. And by breathing this way you're unifying your whole body, the top and the bottom. Many people will find out that they are only breathing from their chest. But if you just make your awareness as you are breathing, in fact you can breath through your whole body, all 84,000 pores. And when you breath through the mudra -- the tanden means "field of essence" -- you are breathing through the "field of essence". When you breathe through that one spot, you are breathing with the entire body, the 84,000 pores.

In Bishop Yamada Roshi's method of zazen, he describes the expelling of the breath is called koki, the expelling of the breath. And the sound it makes is called unshu. And from his experience of many, many years of sitting, the sound of the breath determines the strength and clarity of your sitting. So, the sound of the breath goes from course to fine, not just through your nostrils but through your tanden as well. So, you are breathing from both points and it sounds like this: {the sounds of Kwong-roshi breathing out}. And then inhalation: {the sounds of Kwong-roshi breathing in}. Diaphragm expanding. Diaphragm full of air. And then there is a natural pause where the air is being disseminated. And then again exhale: {the sounds of Kwong-roshi breathing out}. So, course to fine. And right under my chin where my throat is, there’s tension. In fact it's kind of shut off and it's forcing the air to come out in large stream to a fine stream of air and imagining also from the tanden it's coming out the same way, at the same time. {the sounds of Kwong-roshi breathing out}.

So, this unshu was explained by Kiezan Zenji (who was 4 generations after Dogen), one of our ancestors, in his instructions on zazen. So we should know it's meaning and experience it's use, it's purpose. So, in a sense, Zen in a nut-shell would be: when this kind of breathing happens, it cuts through your delusions (meaning your greed, anger and ignorance; the conditioned mind), it cuts through the thinking mind, which is our obstacle. Once the obstacle is cut through, specifically on the exhalation, (that's the execution breath, when we begin something, that's our strength breath, that's also the breath of letting go, that's also the breath of compassion and forgiveness; there's a lot going on there), that's when this form expires into emptiness. It's all in the breath. {the sounds of Kwong-roshi breathing out}. So because it cuts through the obstacles (the greed, anger and ignorance; our dualistic thinking), you have a glimpse of your own original nature. Not only do you experience your own original nature but you experience the original nature (or you can call it your buddha nature) in each and everything you see or in the entire universe, this same quality. So that means your demeanor changes, your relationship to yourself, to other people, to inanimate objects as well as animate objects, all change, because you recognize, you're aware that this same basic nature exists everywhere. It's like everywhere you go you encounter the self. So this is the deep gratitude, and just one of the many, many fruits of Zen.
~ Jakusho Kwong-roshi

In a later part of the audio I really like what Kwong-roshi says about not listening to your thinking, because of it being infinite in variety and amount. He says instead, just listen to your breath and you will be so much happier because of it. Just listen to the breath.

Action is necessary

2004-09-30T14:15:00.000-04:00

The longest journey is
the journey inward. . . .
The road to holiness
necessarily passes through
the world of action.
~ Dag Hammarskjöld

Bringing the stillness of seated meditation into the world of action is just as important as cultivating a regular sitting practice.

Oh my! Say it isn’t so!

2004-09-28T10:25:00.000-04:00

This book just came across the wire via my Amazon alerts:

The Complete Idiot's Guide To Zen Living

Normally I can't stand this series of books. Their titles just seem so insulting. The implication is that you're an "idiot" just by virtue of finding the book interesting enough to purchase it.

But this one piqued my curiosity a bit and I found myself leafing through the sample pages up on the Amazon site a bit. Hummmmm… I found myself actually interested in the book. Now, it's pretty basic stuff and the presentation has been simplified quite a bit to appeal to a larger audience, but maybe that's what I found most appealing about it. There didn't seem to be any of the aloof snootiness you sometimes get with a 'hardcore' book on Zen practice. It was really simple and down to earth, which, in my understanding, is what Zen is about in the first place. Wabi-sabi right? I actually think I'll buy the book and see what it has to offer (idiot or no idiot!).

Buddha Lessons

2004-09-27T16:10:00.000-04:00

Here's a Newsweek article on 'mindfulness' and how it can help with dealing with pain and other worries of life. It's interesting to see this really hitting the mainstream media a lot lately. It's a good thing, don't you think?

Still Just a Beginner

2004-09-24T15:15:00.000-04:00

Sound advice for beginners to the Way:

People learning the way should first empty and quiet their minds. This is because the mind must be empty before it can mystically understand the subtle principle. If the mind is not emptied, it is like a lamp in the wind, or like turbulent water, how can it reflect the myriad forms?

Therefore learners should first stop cogitation and minimize objects of attention, making the mind empty and quiet. After that you have a basis for attaining the way. As Te-shan said, "Just have no mind on things and no things in your mind, and you will naturally be empty and spiritual, tranquil and sublime."

Nevertheless, you should not settle in empty quietude, sitting relaxed and untrammeled in nothingness. You must be truly attentive, investigating diligently, before you can break through the barrier of illusion and accomplish the great task. People's forces of habit, accumulated since beginningless time, are deep seated; if you want to uproot them today, it will not be easy. You need to have a firm will constantly spurring you on. Strive to make progress in the work, without thinking about how much time it will take. When you have practiced for a long time, you will naturally become peaceful and whole. Why seek any other particular method?
~Yuan-hsien (1618-1697)

Autumnal Equinox

2004-09-22T12:30:00.000-04:00

It's 12:30 pm EDT, Fall is Officially HERE!!

It's my favorite season and here are just some of the reasons why:

Apple picking
Making homemade apple cider in the mini cider press
Taking walks along the river amongst the trees turning fiery orange and red
The crispness of the air
Reliving the vivid memories of running through the fields and woods of upstate New York during a cross-country meet in high school
Halloween and Thanksgiving holidays and the food that goes with them
Cooler sweater/sweatshirt weather
Walks along the stone barrier between fields on a farm in upstate New York
Homemade breads, soups and stews
The smells: burning leaves, musty woodsy, apple pie baking, etc.

These are just a few that come to mind right now.

Welcome to Autumn everyone!!

Japanese Art, Architecture and Culture

2004-09-20T15:50:00.000-04:00

While researching Matcha bowls and the Japanese Tea Ceremony online I came across this great resource (JAANUS). Excellent historical explanations and definitions of Japanese Art, Architecture and Culture.

The punk scene and the Dharma

2004-09-20T13:20:00.000-04:00

Here's an interesting little article I came across today: Zen and the art of slam dancing. There are a few good take aways in there. I especially liked Brad Warner's comments on zazen being "tedious and awful", and "your brain is in constant motion like there's a hive of angry wasps in your head". More often than not this is SO true!

Only Don't Know

2004-09-17T01:35:00.000-04:00

Am I truly willing to do what my Zen practice time and time again seems to be asking of me? Namely, stopping the intellectual practice of pursuing thoughts, words and external stimuli and learn, truly learn, the practice of looking into the mind source?

Yeah, I know, I've been over this before here, but it's coming back up for me again.

After two years of trying in spitz and spurts, I don't think my sitting practice has truly caught fire yet. It was certainly ignited again during the 14 periods of zazen I sat at the last weekend sesshin I attended at Mt. Equity, but it has since gone out. I don't think there is even anything smoldering right now. I don't see any smoke. Where there's NO smoke, there's NO fire. I think that's why it's been such an effort lately to sit zazen at home on my own. If I had just a little bit of the fire (even just a single ember) from Obon sesshin, it would be easier to sit on my own. Now I have to start from scratch (now where's that flint?) and the effort at the moment seems too great to overcome by myself, but I'll try.

Yeah, I do have periods during my busy day that I'm able to return to my breath, make myself upright and practice turning inward for a minute or two. But I don't think that's really enough. Of course the question that might follow a statement like that is "Enough for what?" Am I expecting something to come out of my practice that I perceive as not occurring right now? Yeah, I guess there is. All I know is a formal sitting period of at least 30 minutes is better for me than just practicing a few minutes here and a few minutes there throughout my day. How do I know that? I can feel it for days following weekend sesshin.

So, after all these words, words, words; what am I going to do? How am I going to practice? I don’t know. “Only don’t know”, that’s an ok place to be don’t you think?

now

2004-09-16T09:25:00.000-04:00

my mind is racing this morning
no time to sit
longing for a moment of stillness
to ease my discord

zendo, zendo
where are you?

no holy places,
just holy moments

when?

now

GoT and Buddhism

2004-09-15T10:00:00.000-04:00

When you try to understand everything,
you will not understand anything.
The best way is to understand yourself,
and then you will understand everything.
~ Shunryu Suzuki-Roshi

So I came across this quote this week after posting last week verse 67 of the Gospel of Thomas. Coincidence? I think not! I wonder how many of Jesus' sayings that are recorded in the Gospel of Thomas have similar parallels to the teachings of the great Zen patriarchs (including Buddha himself)? I just might have to get this book and find out for myself.

My mini-samsara

2004-09-13T12:45:00.000-04:00

Like a moth to a flame, I am drawn back again and again and again. I don't really know why I allow myself to be drawn to it. The pull is so powerful. It starts with a single thought that gets caught and entertained. Then, before I know it, I've given it enough energy that it gets transformed into this unbelievably strong urge to act. All I know is I don't want to be drawn to it; I don't want to act on these thoughts.

But I guess I crave the excitement. I get bored with the routine of daily life and want a splash of ocular stimulation to wake me up. But was it truly worth it in the end? Deep down I know it isn't, but I keep going back. The pull is insatiable. Around and around I go in my own personal mini-samsara of sorts. The spiral seems to never end.

This Floating World

2004-09-09T16:20:00.000-04:00

I never quite heard it put this way:

People born into this floating world
Quickly become like roadside dust:
At dawn, little children,
By sunset, white-haired and old,
with no inner understanding
They struggle without cease.
I ask the children of the universe,
Why do you bother to pass this way?
~ Ryokan

I'm rather fond of this passage.

The Divine Within

2004-09-03T13:40:00.000-04:00

Jesus said, "Whoever knows the all but fails to know himself
lacks everything."
~ Gospel of Thomas

Icchantika has introduced me to the Gospel of Thomas, a lost text of 114 sayings of Jesus of Nazareth. I've only come across one or two of these sayings so far, but from just these, I find a deep resonance within to the message being conveyed. I am now utterly fascinated and caught up with wanting to know all I can about this Gospel of Thomas and the other texts found at Nag Hammadi.

The message conveyed in the sayings I've read so far, namely the idea of self-discovery to bring out 'the divine within', seems to line up pretty well with what I find so appealing about my Zen buddhist practice ('turning the light inward' to allow our buddha-nature to manifest).

Being raised Christian and still having some of those tendencies remain, I am very intrigued by these 'new' sayings of Jesus. I always knew deep down that Buddha and Jesus were brothers (spiritual brothers) and this just seems to confirm it even more for me.

There are opposites, but no opposition.

2004-09-02T08:55:00.000-04:00

To divide and particularize is in the mind's very nature. There is no harm in dividing. But separation goes against fact. Things and people are different, but they are not separate. Nature is one, reality is one. There are opposites, but no opposition.

~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

You know, intellectually I can read and understand the words above, but I don't think I really understand the whole concept of 'different but not separate'. I fool myself (and others) sometimes with pretending to understand this, but I really don't. I suppose in time, with more practice, I will come to a clearer more experiential understanding.

Kindergarten

2004-08-30T13:30:00.000-04:00

Today was Amy’s first day of kindergarten. We all walked over together across the street to the elementary school this morning. She was SO excited, jumping and skipping all the way. It was so cute to see her that happy to be going to the ‘big kids’ school. Wow, our little girl is in kindergarten already!! Where did the time go?

Spirituality in the Blogosphere

2004-08-23T14:35:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to pass on this recent article from Beliefnet: Beliefnet chooses the best blogs about religion and spirituality. There are tons of interesting blog's referenced. Have fun exploring!!

Get Thee to a Monastery

2004-08-20T09:30:00.000-04:00

In a few hours I will be heading up to Mt. Equity Zen Monastery for weekend sesshin. Here's a quote that I will be keeping in mind as I anticipate the many wanderings of my mind during the several hours of sitting we'll be doing each day.

A monk was asked, "What do you do there in the monastery?" He replied, "We fall and get up, we fall and get up, we fall and get up."
~ St. Benedict

This is SO TRUE! Mind wanders and I bring it back to the breath, over and over again. The trick for me is to do this without judging the 'mind wandering' part.

Blooming Lotus

2004-08-17T15:05:00.000-04:00

Came across this quote today that is rather poignant given my recent struggles to actually sit formally on a better than weekly basis. The imagery conveyed here actually brought a tear to my eye when I first read it. This is why I practice.

We sit to settle the self on the self and let the flower of our life force bloom.

~ Dainin Katagiri-roshi

Hidden Path

2004-08-16T15:45:00.000-04:00

This path I thought I was on seems to be disappearing right before my eyes. The way seemed clearly marked at one time. But now the weeds are so over-crowding that I don't see a path forward anymore. I'm just standing here wondering what I do next. I'm just standing here so confused. Paralyzed. No way forward. No way back.

Things as it is

2004-08-09T13:45:00.000-04:00

Oh, would you look at that, it's been a week since I lasted posted here. I've been pretty swamped at work and that is the main reason for the slow down in posts. Never fear, I am still here and thinking of you all. :-)

Here's a favorite quote of mine to chew on while I go try and finish up work on my current project:

If you look for the truth outside yourself,
it gets farther and farther away.
Today, walking alone,
I meet him everywhere I step.
He is the same as me,
yet I am not him.
Only if you understand it in this way
will you merge with the way things are.

~ TUNG-SHAN

Click the title link above to see the book I am currenly enjoying.

The Bodhisatva's Vow

2004-08-02T16:00:00.000-04:00

Here is a version of the bodhisatva's vow that I just came across that I really, really like.

So long as space remains,
So long as sentient beings remain,
I will remain,
In order to help,
In order to serve,
In order to make,
My own contribution.

~ translated by The Dalai Lama

May I overcome my silly fears and truely learn to serve all of humankind, starting first with those I come in contact with each and every day.

Appearance and Reality

2004-07-29T15:28:00.000-04:00

Here's some more good stuff from Zen Master Dogen to ponder:

Most people of the world want others to know when they have done something good, and want others not to know when they have done something bad.
If you refrain from doing something because people would think ill of it, of if you try to do good so others will look upon you as a true Buddhist, these are still worldly feelings.
If you have compassion and are imbued with the spirit of the Way, it is of no consequence to be criticized, even reviled, by the ignorant. But if you lack the spirit of the Way, you should be wary of being thought of by others as having the Way.
What you think in you own mind to be good, or what people of the world think is good, is not necessarily good.
If people who keep up appearances and are attached to themselves gather together to study, not one of them will emerge with an awakened mind.
You should not be esteemed by others if you have no real inner virtue. People here in Japan esteem others on the basis of outward appearances, without knowing anything about real inner virtue; so students lacking the spirit of the Way are dragged down into bad habits and become subject to temptation.

Inner virtue. How in the world might it be possible to elect our government representatives based on the quality of their inner virtue? Boy, I would love to see that answered some day!

Infrequency

2004-07-27T08:57:00.000-04:00

My online life has recently taken a back seat to my "brick and mortar" life. Sorry to be out of touch like that.

Here's a link that I found interesting that I wanted to share. I'm thinking about going. What do you think?

Warrior Monk

Questions

2004-07-19T10:20:00.000-04:00

I would like to beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions them selves as if they were locked rooms or books in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

I needed to come across this little piece of wisdom today. My Zen practice has been deepening as of late and as a result, is stirring up more questions than answers about the way I currently live my life.

My impulse is to want to resolve all these questions right away. I feel uncomfortable with so many seemingly unresolved things lying about. It helps to be reminded that I can just be with those questions and the uncomfortable feelings that are associated with them. Questions don’t have to be answered right away (if at all). For the moment, questions can be just questions.

Sangha

2004-07-13T14:02:00.000-04:00

I got a chance to sit with a local sangha for the first time last night. I say 'for the first time' because, not only was it my first time at the Buddhist Sangha of Bucks County, it was the first time with a sangha that is less than 3 hours from my home. I don't know why it took me so long to search out a group that would be closer to me than Mt. Equity Zendo is. Then again, I don't know why it took me over 10 years from the time I received that initial brochure from the Rochester Zen Center in 1991 to when I actually made my first visit to a practice center (Mt. Equity Zendo in 2002).

Ever since learning about Buddhism in the class 'Philosophy of Eastern Thinkers' at RIT in 1991, the pull to investigate this spiritual tradition has remained constant and strong. I just wish it hadn't taken me this long to get up the guts enough to put all the books down and actually pay a visit to a practice center.

Whatever the reasons, I guess it doesn't matter much now. I am where I am and where I am today is pretty darn good!!

The practitioners at BSBC were quite friendly and welcoming. I had a pleasurable evening of practice and discussion. I'm so glad I made the effort to seek out a local group and get to a sitting during the work week. It is going to help a lot to have options for group practice in the months to come once Deb starts working at the hospital full time.

Totally in this world

2004-07-12T16:40:00.000-04:00

I like this. A LOT! It's a good reminder for me.

commonbeauty reincarnated?

2004-07-10T15:16:00.000-04:00

the vernacular body

I think I'll like this version too.

Zen and Recovery

2004-07-09T15:42:00.000-04:00

Zen can be the compassionate scalpel that removes the layers of accrued opinions, beliefs, and frozen expectations that stand between us and true experience. . Zen shows us that what we mistakenly call ourselves, personal identity, is really no more than a mask over our true selves and natures. . . By becoming mindful of our original nature, we are able to lessen the grip of the denial that separates us from true experience. . . As we become more spontaneous and intuitive in our relationships with ourselves, others and the world, the world and our deepest selves start to act as one, and we come to realize that there's never been a problem except in our thinking. . . Zen is the ultimate and original recovery program: it exposes our denial of true self and shows us how we've suffered because of our diseases of attachment, judgment and division.

~ Mel Ash

Take it to the cushion

2004-07-08T10:43:00.000-04:00

I sat zazen last night right before bed. It was the first time I've had a formal sitting period on the cushion since sitting that once at the B&B 10 days ago.

Since getting back from vacation, I've allowed myself to get pretty caught up in what I call the "mind of the world". It's got me all agitated and in a state of unease (dis-ease). I've felt myself getting short with those around me. Getting impatient and annoyed with my fellow commuters on my way to and from work. Impatient with my 5 year old daughter. I don't like it when I fall back into this state.

So, I took it all with me to the cushion last night. The echoes of the day's events were so strong in my heart and mind. As I settled into the silence, it seemed like they got even stronger (more a case that I was now aware of them, I think). I found it difficult for the first time in a long time to just sit with myself and all that was going on inside. I started to judge that (the fact that I was having difficulty), but then realized I need to put that down as well. Not very helpful to getting back to a place of equilibrium.

I'm realizing that I need to 'take it to the cushion' on a more regular basis than I have been.

Happy, happy, joy, joy!!

2004-07-07T15:59:00.000-04:00

My wife just got the results of her NCLEX exam (state boards for RN) AND SHE PASSED!!!

She's now officially an RN!!!!

WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!

She was a bit freaked out when the computer shut off after only 75 questions. That could mean two things, she did so lousy the computer decided she had no hope, OR she did really well that more questions weren't neccessary. I had no doubts it was the latter but she couldn't tell one way or another.

We're heading out to dinner tonight to celebrate!!!!

Overcoming Greed

2004-07-07T10:07:00.000-04:00

If you would be free of greed, first you have to leave egotism behind. The best mental exercise for relinquishing egotism is contemplating impermanence.

~ Zen Master Eihei Dogen (founder of Soto Zen in Japan)

I want my vacation back!

2004-07-06T16:15:00.000-04:00

Bleh...After 6 hours into my first day back at work and being thrown into the fire pits immediately upon arriving, I'm longing for the hours spent on the lake shore with my family just a few days ago! Oy!

So, how's your day?

Even the sun must climb Cold Peak

2004-07-05T21:43:00.000-04:00

...Big Shield once told me all
may be enlightened:
serpent, stone, bell, moon, pine.

Imagine that!

Yet my question remains:
"On what great day
will fear and hope finally die?"

"Back to work,"
said Big Shield.
"Even the sun must climb Cold Peak."

Who works to be free
will never be free.

Raise two hands to your eyes.
Show yourself your bonds.
You see nothing.

Pity those bound by
a whisper of wishes.

You are free
only when you forget
you are free.

~ Han Shan (a late 8th century Chinese poet and Taoist-Chan Sage)